This Alphalink article is a continuation of The importance of networks, What is the strength of weak ties? and The importance of weak ties in our lives.
In this article I present some ideas about weak relationships. I emphasise that these are my own thoughts, loose ideas and considerations that have not been systematically tested or proven – food for thought, let’s say.
We live in networks, we establish and maintain relationships, some strong and others weak. We also know that the strength of weak relationships is very strong.
Here are a few considerations:
i) The strength of weak ties stems from a statistical phenomenon. The potential impact of any one of these relationships on our lives is very low, but as we manage to maintain a large number of weak relationships, the likelihood of being strongly affected by one of them is high.
ii) Most of the time when a weak relationship is mobilised – our contact gives us someone, or refers us, or contacts us for some reason – it happens regardless of our will. Sometimes we can take the initiative to mobilise that contact ourselves, but the strength of weak relationships comes from their ability to mobilise spontaneously, when we least expect it.
iii) Weak relationships have a greater potential for mobilisation for positive reasons than negative ones. I think it’s more likely that someone far away from us will refer us, remember us, introduce us to someone for neutral or positive reasons than for negative ones. It seems to me that a weak tie is more likely to have a positive impact on our lives than a negative one.
This is good and bad news:
- The bad news is that, being a statistical phenomenon, we neither know nor can we predict which weak tie will affect us.
- The good news is that, unlike strong relationships, we actually manage to establish and maintain many weak relationships.
So it’s good practice to cultivate our weak relationships. I’m not saying that we should turn them into strong ones, nor that we should go around planting business cards in the hope of reaping future benefits. I do think, however, that we should look at everyone we meet with consideration, sympathy, maintain a good relationship, respond when asked and try to help when possible.
If we leave a good impression on the people we interact with, a feeling of friendliness, competence and availability; if we maintain these contacts, even through a sporadic message, a casual phone call or a friendly comment; if we do all this, we will be strengthening our network.
As a final note, nothing I’ve said so far detracts from the strength of strong ties. Strong ties exist, they are important, they manifest themselves and they have a very strong and constant impact on all areas of our lives.
What I’m saying is not to look only at the weak ties, because the strong ones don’t matter. What I’m saying is to also look at the weak ties, because it’s not just the strong ones that matter.
Jaime Quintas
Illustration by Ana Salvado | All rights reserved.
